Alone vs. Lonely

I have never had a problem being alone.  Maybe it's because I am an only child...who knows. I don't generally NEED to have people around me.  I am secure with myself and being by myself and I am thankful for that.

I've always maintained that there is a big difference in being alone and being lonely.  While I am comfortable with the first, the latter is one of my biggest fears.  The thought of feeling lonely for an extended period of time truly scares me.  Days like today remind me of that.

I am faced with a decision that only I can make and that has no right or wrong answer.  You would think that would make it easier, but it doesn't.  Advice doesn't help.  What someone else would do doesn't matter.  And the shitty thing is I won't know the impact of my decision until there is no chance to change it.  My only saving grace is that the decision is mine alone to deal with...no repercussions for anyone else.  And that is a very lonely place to be.

Today, I am both alone and lonely...