[flurt]

I did a lot of flirting tonight.  To be more specific, I did two different kinds of flirting.  There was the typical flirting...what you are probably thinking of.  I had a date, so of course I did my fair share of smiling, hair flipping, and coy glances. There may have even been a lip biting moment thrown in, just for good measure.  At this point, I will say that flirting was a success. We ended the night discussing when we would be able to see each other again.  I left with butterflies in my belly and a silly grin on my face...just like last time.

You see, this isn't the first time I've been on a date with this person.  The first date was a few months back.  Everything appeared to have gone well.  We talked often in the week after.  And then, like so many others, he just fell off the face of the earth.  Phone calls and text messages went unanswered.  And I had no idea why.

That leads me to the second kind of flirting.  Instead of flirting with someone else, I was flirting with myself...my own thoughts toying with each other.  I'm flirting with that very thin line between going with the flow and opening myself up to potentially getting burned...again.

I firmly believe there is a reason he left my life when he did a reason why he came back.  Do I know what those reasons are?  Nope...and I'm ok with that.  I'm learned that some things will happen in life that we maybe aren't meant to fully understand the meaning behind.  I have found peace in that line of thinking and I feel like my life has become less stressful.  

But the question is...how to you create a balance and keep from being made a fool of or being taken advantage of? I've been burned by this before (you may remember the guy I was referring to in this post...yep, he came back in the picture, but that's a story for another day).  The long and the short of that story is I should have stuck with my gut feeling from the start.  Learned that lesson the hard way for sure.  

At this moment, I am being optimistically caution.  He is exactly what I remember and I'm hoping this isn't another lesson.  I didn't ask what happened before.  Honestly, I don't know if it really even matters to me.  I think I'd rather live in and enjoy the now than dwell on the past...and hope I don't get burned again.