A little over a year ago, I took the first step to taking back happy for myself. Since then, I've been floundering a little. As some parts of my life have become happier,
Step 1: Stop worrying about what other people think
One of the hardest parts of the past year has been being away from E and not seeing him smile every day. I miss him to pieces on
I have beat myself senseless defending my actions to people in hopes that they will see that I was actually being selfless for having E stay with his dad. No more. It doesn't matter what other people think about me. I've made the best decisions for myself and my child and I'm over the judgement of anyone else.
Step 2: Re-discover my happy place...and live there often!
Scrapbooking used to be my happy place. It was my escape and creative outlet. I haven't visited this happy place in longer than I can remember. I've tried to force myself to get crafty. I'll get everything set up, sit down at the table, and just stare at everything. I've been too concerned about things being perfect instead of just letting go and being fearless about "messing up." And, honestly, in the beginning, it was really hard to look at all of the pictures of the happy times from the past. So I've decided that instead of dwelling on how things were, I will celebrate them!
Step 3: Disconnect to reconnect
Anyone that knows my knows that my phone is always within arm's reach. I am constantly checking for texts and emails...just in case. In the beginning, I told myself that I had to have my phone close in case anything happened to E. But you know what? His dad is completely capable of handling things (duh...since E lives with him). And as far as the texts...I need to stop depending on other people to make me happy.
Step 4: Find things that make me happy
Last night I was thinking "What can I do for me that will make me happy?" So I jumped on the internet, pulled up the site for the local Humane Society, and signed up to volunteer. They called this morning and I will be attending the orientation meeting on Tuesday. And this weekend, I plan on starting my re-discovery of my happy place. I have been purging my "scrap stash" over the past few weeks (to keep from getting overwhelmed) and am ready to dig in. And finally, I'm going to start cooking again.
What makes YOU happy??
I'll end this post with my horoscope for today, since it seems fitting: Today will offer you the opportunity to make new friends or to strengthen existing friendships. Your good mood will make the day a pleasant and memorable experience for everybody you meet.